Mantra Number Five

Time Out - Mantra Number Five

Why are boys so stupid? I just got off the phone with my friend Niki. Poor thing. She has spent the last two weeks crying over a boy. Why do women let themselves get lost in the sauce? Meanwhile, men go about their merry way none the wiser. I maintain that they are never, ever at home crying over us. They never spend a single day in the bed devastated. They don’t ever feel completely heartbroken and slighted. So why do we devote an entire week, or month—hell sometimes even an entire year—to being depressed over a guy? My friends and I nicknamed our friend Adrienne “Woody A” after she broke up with her boyfriend of five years, an homage to the moody and cynical Woody Allen. She wore a fisherman hat every time we went out. She was hiding her devastation. Some girls eat their way through the pain, while others immerse themselves in work. Whatever it is women do, we have to stop it. It is ridiculous. Simply stated, boys are not doing this—and if they are, it’s for a fraction of the time we are. Women, we must set boundaries for our hearts. This is why Mantra #5 has got to play over and over in your head:


        If we don’t, the tears will never stop.

        You see, women never stop wondering about the deadly three letter word that haunts our every waking moment after a break up: WHY?

        Why did he stop calling me?

        Why did I over react?

        Why did I say that???

        The word “why” is only detrimental when it stands in front of our firing squad of emotions. We must learn to step back and the poise the question WHY at ourselves:

        Why did I start dating him in the first place?

        Why did I let him get away with so much, so soon?

        Why do I really care? And why did I tell him I love him?

        If we become the shooter and not the target then we will always prevail. We may not walk away without blood on our hands, but we may just walk away with a smile instead of a frown—and for the first time, there’s power behind that smile.

        Look out NYC, GillianAlex is fully loaded and on the prowl …


  1. Its so true we are total opposites of men, but we need to learn from them. We have to learn to have fun in our realtionships, even though the break up can be unbearable its only for a moment. We have to learn to move on and be excited of whats to come in regards to a new relationship it can only be better than the last.


    • Although I stopped crying over break ups years ago. I have still been devastated. I fake it until I make it by going out, drinking heavily, having meaningless sex, thinking that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and it was his lost, all the while convincing myself he was Gay anyway! But even this requires too much heal time!

  2. I dig this whole pick your last day to cry concept..I’m going to learn to own this concept

  3. This was soo on point..I agree we waist soo much time.

  4. Yes! I needed to hear is my last day..

  5. Not true, even in the slightest. Men cry in the dark and then go out and hurt/kill someone. We hold onto that pain for YEARS as if it just happened, yesterday. But don’t expect us to admit it to you. That would make us look like punks. So cry your hearts out; trust me, pretending you aren’t hurting is only going to make you more damaged than you already are.

    • Wow, Luminus you just enlightened me! I have often wondered if my exes were going through what I was going through after a couple of my early break ups, but they have always appeared to be hella cool with the it.

  6. I guarantee that sometimes guys cry – because they realize what they lost!

    But, what many women don’t get is that we hang on way too long. If there is part of his game missing – such as he’s a good guy but you aren’t all that attracted to him – physically let’s say – then don’t waste your time. Don’t say “it’ll come tomorrow” only to have the guy walk on us.

    Bottom line – take matters into your own hands.

  7. I agree with this post because I swear my boyfriend doesn’t cry over me

  8. Well I don’t know who you’ve been dating cause my boyfriends past and present have cried,begged, and pleaded..

  9. The question is – who is faking it and who not? I’ve seen more than a few guys try to score sympathy points with alligator tears. Then again, I have a very close friend who I have seen cry a couple of times. When we’ve been out and we discussed something that hit him – for whatever reason, – I saw tears streaming down his face. I looked in his eyes and you could see the pain. Those people are for real.

    As for the other guys, alligator tears and all. Here’s what you do:
    1. “Console” him
    2. Get him to give you something you want – jewelry, a trip, whatever….
    3. Give him a sympathy fuck (those can be hot)
    4. Send him packing.

  10. I’m just happy to hear that another girl feels the same way I do..High Five

  11. I sometimes feel that all men are heartless..or maybe I’m just not that lucky.

  12. Jenny makes some good points..1-4 are all good options.

  13. Jenny makes some good points..1-4 are all good options.

  14. Ok I needed to read this post as I’m going thru this right now..thank you girlstimeoutblog..and I like the comments from Jenny

  15. I have to believe that boys hurt like we do..I think they just don’t show it

  16. Well….I am ready to be a lady warrior after this TIME OUT!! Someone please Blow the whistle!!!! Thanks Ms. Alex

  17. Mantra #5..luv it..can’t wait to see the rest of them.

  18. A few years ago I’d have to pay someone for this inforamiton.

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