Where is my guy

Time Out - Where’s My Guy?

It’s Sunday morning and as usual, I am having a mind war about going to the gym. I don’t feel like getting on the treadmill today but I have to. I’ve been drinking like a mad woman and I have to burn off all those cocktails. My room is a mess. Actually the whole apartment is a mess. Scratch that; I’m a mess.

        As of late, I had been fantasizing about that Pretty Woman moment that every girl dreams about. The moment when your knight in shining armor rides up on a white horse to rescue you. When the prince with a lost slipper knocks on your door. When Zorro in the black mask appears to protect you from danger. Plainly stated, the moment that many of my friends have already experienced. My friend Madelyn met a millionaire through a guy I was dating, whose generosity allowed her to weave in and out of boutiques on Madison Avenue. My friend Courtney married the brother of the guy I had been pressuring to marry me for the past 5 years, who later left me to feel like a complete fool. My friend Marie met her current boyfriend while we were out to dinner with a loser that I had been pretending to love. Admittedly, I had surrendered to feelings of jealousy and resentment toward my friends, convinced that I was the doormat to everyone else’s happiness. So as I’m sitting on the side of the bed, I am throwing a question around in my head: Where the fuck is my Prince Charming!?

        For God sakes, my name translates to “Sweetheart Protector of Men.” What man doesn’t want a sweetheart who likes to protect her man? With or without the translation, I know that my heart is as big as the Atlantic Ocean, even while I was sleeping alone in the middle of my bed. I’ve always treasured my independence, my single-girl know-how. But it was hard not to think that maybe it was time for me to retire that mentality. Time to give up the Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle. I’m not giving up my Chanel slingbacks, but maybe it’s time to make room in the closet for his loafers. I hadn’t actually begun to feel lonely; I was just starting to feel incomplete.

        I was starting to feel like something was ultimately missing in my life. It really wasn’t the feeling that something was missing, it was more of a question of what will be missing in the years to come. Pretty, successful, and single; It looks good on paper, but at the end of the day what is that girl faced with? If you have a great career, it helps negate the negative feelings you might have about being single. But throw in an unfulfilling career and the future becomes bleaker.

        What’s worse is that, as you age, you start to feel like the likelihood of starting a family is getting slimmer and slimmer, the task of finding the perfect mate harder and harder, and starting a new career is the ultimate challenge. It’s in those short seconds when you feel like you have failed. But for every second you experience feelings of doubt, you have to remember those minutes when you experienced pure bliss. Whether it was when you just got a great haircut, found that pair of shoes that you have been longing for on sale, or the feeling of having the first bite of a cheeseburger that you broke your diet to eat. It’s all about taking those minutes and making them hours. Taking those hours and making them days, until those days become your life. A situation does not equal an attitude. You decide how you feel.

I often quote a line from Adman Sandler’s ground-breaking movie

The Water Boy: “You Can Do It.”

And we can. We are girls and we can do everything.


  1. OMG. This is so me right now. Thank you for showing me that I am not alone. This is exactly how I feel.

  2. Everyone woman should read this. EVERY WOMAN! Because we all have felt these exact feelings.

  3. I must admit that I too felt a little jealous when all of my friends were getting married and had relationships and I didn’t but I put those feelings in the back of my mind and just tried to concentrate on myself. I’m so glad that I did because I ended up meeting a great man and I feel like if I had stayed angry and resentful, I probably would have never net him.

  4. I have had a 10 year relationship, I have been skinny and I have been pregnant and still something was missing! I am now single, fat , and have no kids (don’t ask) and I am happy! I fuck who I want, eat what I want, and no kids to come home to! Who knew this was all I needed! Check with me when I’m 50!

  5. Me too. Sometimes I feel like everyone around me is making strides while I’m left far behind.

  6. Well i agree with TRUEHEART. Im happy because – Im happy.

  7. I’m glad that someone had the courage to fess up that they were kinda jealous of their friends lives/successes. I feel like one of my closest friends is a little jealous of me and I wish she would just come out and say it. Instead she gives me dirty looks and jabs at me all the time. It’s not my fault that her life SUCKS.

  8. Aweeeee this may be one of my favorite GIRL TIME OUTS!!!! Ive seen failed marriages and ones that look like they go home and bake cookies every night….I want something right in the middle Im not asking for much…..A REAL man, who adores me…and most of all WHO I LIKE?LOVE TOO!….Im ready to let go of ME and take care of someone else. Im JUST READY! Today is a perfect day Mr. Wonderful where the hell are ya! I SAID….IM READY!!!! I loved this blog. Thanks “Sweetheart Protector of Men.” :)

  9. I love your blog and how true you are to yourself. I think we are put through a lot of trials and tribulations because we were just meant for something more in this life, and we were never meant to “settle” with a mediocre guy. All the BS is preparation to be ready when you meet the love of your life.

  10. I was feeling the exact same way last year and almost gave up and settled with this guy I hated. Luckily I didn’t and I now I have no regrets. I’m single, I finally got the job I’ve always wanted, and I know that my Prince Charming is coming any day now.

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  12. Great post this week.

  13. Get over it…..

  14. I have these days and you are right, you have to think about all of the good things that are in your life.

  15. I was jealous when all of my friends were getting married. I never shared it with them because I didn’t want them to know so thank you for giving me a forum where I can unload.

  16. There is so much truch in your writing. Keep up the good work.

  17. A PRETTY WOMAN you are, this we see in the stories you tell.
    Your Knight!Your Prince!Your Zorro! will come JUST BE READY!
    Make sure you RECOGNIZE him when he APPEARS,we often overlook what is RIGHT in our sight!!! Keep up the good work.

  18. Sometimes you can still feel alone in a relationship just as you can in a crowded room. It is important for women to take those little joys that we get from simple everyday things that make us feel good. That is the back up fuel we need to keep us from being on empty. Keep loving YOU!

  19. You could certainly see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The world hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. Always follow your heart.

  20. Magnificent website.

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    people like you! Take care!!

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    but after checking through some of the post I realized it’s new to me.
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